Stolen Cell Phone, Part 2

I searched the car.  I remembered it being in The Cell Phone Spot.  I remembered feeling for it in my coat pocket and realizing it wasn't there.  So it must still be in The Cell Phone Spot.  Maybe I dropped it.  Did I have it?  Did I maybe leave it at the restaurant?  Banging my head, trying to remember.  But I really wanted to remember that is was NOT in The Cell Phone Spot because if that's where it was, then it was definitely lost.  Stolen.

I went back inside to the one place where I find all my answers these days.  Facebook.  And I posted:  "Hey everybody this is my cell phone # Can you please take a moment to send a text to the thief who stole it out of my car in the last hour.  Be nice about it.  Offer a $50 reward.  I just want to get it back."

Right away the comments telling me what to do.  Go to iTunes and get the "lost cell phone" app and download. I remembered that I have a spare cell phone, a flip phone that I keep in the house for emergencies.  I am not at all technologically savvy and if I have to think about it too much, I'll curl up in a ball and just turn on the TV.  Deep breath.  One step at a time.  iTunes.  Search.  There it is.  Download.  Open it up.  Huh.  Did you know if you leave the "location services" on, your cell will show up on a little map?  You probably know this.  Everybody probably knows this.  I did not know this.  In fact, I could now see the location of all our devices.  Cool.  Oh look, there's my cell on Cleveland and Weber.  Although not too far from my house, not exactly the corner I want to go searching for anything.  What am I gonna do, look around on the ground?  Knock on doors?  Go up to hookers, Excuse me do you have my phone, I know you have my phone?

I call the police and sit on hold for about twenty minutes.  I'm still chatting with the Facebookers.  Who are all telling me to most certainly NOT go to any location.  And then the police transfer me to some recorded system where I can leave a report about my stolen merchandise. I'm doing this while commenting on a long FB thread where my friends are all reporting how they sent a text and filing them in on my plans, and I'm surfing around the whole "lost cell phone" app. I figure out how I can locate my phone and send it a message, offering a reward and the number of my spare cell phone.  And then I can lock it.  But once I lock it, I can't call it or text it.  I have to wait for it to text me.  I finally decide, What the heck?  I lock it and I put in my other number.

About five minutes later, my "emergency" cell phone starts to ring.  I'm like Who could be calling me?  Who even has that number?  I never imagined in a million billion years that the thief would actually call me but suddenly I find myself in conversation with him.  "Um, yeah, hey I just bought this cell phone on the street."  Sure you did.  "I mean, I paid $75 and I thought it was totally legit."  Right.  Because when you're buying a cell phone on the street for $75 at midnight the day after Christmas, it's always totally legit.  "And it suddenly locked up on me and I had no idea it was stolen."

I did not want him to hang up, so  I acted completely empathetic and understanding.  One drug addict lying to another.  I told him that I was sorry, I simply did not have the $75 to replace him being scammed by "someone" selling it to him but I would give him $50 for it.  (I don't know why the extra $25 pissed me off.)  I said something about only having that much cash at my house and I have kids here so I can't leave to get more.  And he said, I know.  (ok, remember that for later in the story.  I mentioned I had kids and he said.....I know.)  Then he told me how he was worried since he was in possession of stolen property even though "I swear I had no idea," and I might show up with the police.  I knew I had a narrow window to get this phone back.  I told him, Well, first of all you're going to change your story.  If we meet and the police are anywhere near us, you can also say that you "found" it and you immediately called me to help out.  Second, I'm going to let you know I did alert the police and they put me on hold for 30 minutes, so I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to get them involved in a sting operation in the next 5 minutes.  Let's meet at the gas station on Cleveland and Weber, you give me the cell, I'll give you the cash, ready set go.

I thought about leaving my children alone upstairs, sleeping.  I thought about all the people on FB ranting about Don't You Go Meet Him By Yourself.

But here's the thing.  I knew the boy who stole my cell phone.  Because I was him.  I heard his voice and I knew.  I stole from my own mother.  I stole from roommates.  I stole from employers.  I am a drug addict and a thief and a liar and I knew this boy's lies like the back of my hand.  I knew he wanted that $50 and he was willing to risk getting arrested for it.  I knew deep deep deep down, way in the back of his lost soul  he felt bad about what he did and the tiniest part of him wanted to make it right and I was giving him the chance to make it right AND get $50.

The gas station on Cleveland and Weber is actually pretty busy after midnight.  And brightly lit.  I felt sort of safe.  There were too many neighborhood people coming and going.  Even though the air was freezing, people were hanging outside.  I parked and stood waiting.  For awhile I wondered if maybe he wasn't going to show up when suddenly there was a scrawny white boy wearing a hoodie under a flannel jacket and smoking a cigarette a few feet away from me.  He could have been my son.  A twenty something grown up version of Zeke unshaven with meth burn marks.  He was very old and extremely young at the same time.  I shuffled over and shrugged, You got my phone?  He startled and then handed it over.  I palmed him the cash.  Went back to the car.  Tried not to make eye contact.  I didn't want him worried that I could identify him for the police.  But I watched him dart across the street and down the alley.  I could've followed him.  I could've run him over with my car.  What I wanted to do was pull up and tell him, You don't have to live like this, can I pick you up tomorrow morning and maybe take you to a meeting?

When I got home, I checked my text messages.  Here are some:

Please return this cell phone.  Single mom of 4 needs it.  Thanks.

Hey, can u do us all a favor & return this phone 2 where u got it.  The owners a single parent & truly can't afford 2 replace it.  Plz do the right thing.

Fifty dollar reward for the return of this cell phone to rightful owner, now questions asked.  do the right thing.

Hey! Plz return this phone. Plz.  She has 4 kids.  Great mom.  Happy New Year!

Hey, you know that phone is traceable via GPS.  Even when they're turned off.  Return it plz.

Please return this phone to the rightful owner.  She is awesome and needs her phone back.

During the holiday week, how about you do this one right thing.  One good thing.  Return this phone.



It went on and on like this.  A hundred text messages.  Telling him how great I am.  How hard I work to take care of my kids.  How much I needed my phone back.  Not a single person threatened him or called him names.  Reading them all, I felt so much love.

Then I opened up Safari and saw he left open a bunch of pages.  I thought, Oh this is gonna be good.  Braced myself for porn.  But it turns out he was looking up classes on the Columbus State website.  Checking on his status.  Trying to find his bill.  The young addict thinking about college at the end of December.   I imagined him surfing and how when you're on an iPhone, the texts pop up in the bar above your web page.  I know he called me once the phone was locked up, but I like to think my friends wore him down.

A lot of people have a lot of revenge fantasies when I tell them about my stolen cell phone.  They want to catch him.  They want to go after him.  They are bothered that I gave him money.  Which we all know is just going for drugs.  But I have done so many unforgiveable things in my life, I actually think of him and feel true gratitude.  For giving me the chance to feel stolen from.  For giving me my phone back. For reminding me who I am and from where I came.  For showing me how much sooooo many people love me.  For giving me the chance to forgive in the moment.  For giving me this story.


god walked down my street one quiet snowy night while I was inside yelling at my kids, stole my cell phone, and showed me how much love and forgiveness this world has.